Maybe it's just so hard to forgive and forget things but it's always easy to say even if u are angry I have nth to say I only could say sry but things are always like this but I kw no words can make u understand those msg I am just brother and sister with her if u don't believe I dont have nth to say I only could say sry...

It's another new day for me to pass without u..life without u is miserabale how I wish tat u would come back to my side soon..I finally figure out tat no matter how much I am unhappy I tried to think the good things put things at the easier way to solve change my emotion to something tat won't make me give myself so much hurt..I felt so useless tat I can't even protect my gf I can't even give her wad she want I am just a useless person like everyone said but I am not going to stop to be a successful husband a successful dad I will still try my best to do whatever I do no matter wad happen I can't give up!!

I Don't wish u to leave me I don't mean tat I want u to reject me or wad I want to kw wads ur decision if u really made up the decision tell me wads ur decision..

Today is another day for me things still haven change...everynight when I close my eyes all I think is all about u...the nightmare I have every time I sleep is u leaving me alone in the darkness its so scary it's damn scary is the most fearful things for me...when I asked u will u leave me u just told me tat u don't wish to give me a empty promise again I rather u told me to drop the hope I rather u told me the truth I rather u hurt me now rather then when times goes for me it's more hurt when I have high hopes already...I always love u I really hope tat things will stay as the same but sometimes it's never gonaa happen bahx...haiis I really need sometimes to give myself a decision tat I won't regret and hope tat the decision I make wont hurt u...u really gave me thr biggest blow in life and it's never easy for me to get back on my feet maybe I will just stay on the floor forever...Never kw wads gonna happen next...I really need to think well I really need to think wads the best solution tat solve the problem...haiis ppl always say tat things solve easily when u think hard but now it's harder then easier to say...

Listening to song tat make tears clocked in my eyes flow down my eyes thing are always an predictable....it's hurts to see your phone everything also change even my name has change maybe it's time for me to accept the fact tat we are already over but it's it really over for us?it's never easy for me to stand up after such a big fall but I will still try to stand up on my feet and move on...no matter how much I tried I always thought of ending my life once and for all but when I think of the times we spent together I can't bear to leave u...I am really afraid tat I will just give up I am really afraid tat I will give myself up I don't want to have any false hope I don't want to have any hope and promise tat will never be kept!!haiis

I hear the song over and over again I hear the song till I memoriese the lyric the song suit my everyday mood giving myself a hope I dont wish to give myself a false hope I don't wish to think tat u are coming back to my side u just tell me tat it's not gonna happen right now and tats all u told me...everytime I saw u I think back the times while we are happy and quarreling everyday but those times ain't bad it's a good thing for me tat at least I noe tat no matter wad happen we have gone through so much up and downs we have a bounding with each other....thinking back seeing u right now it's seems u have change so much but I don't know why I still love you as all times...I remember saying I love not what u are but I love you as who u are...no matter wad happen what decision what plans u have it still won't change the promise I swear with my life to love you forever till the day I lie in the coffin I still love you...when i seenu eveytime I wish to hold ur hand but didint have the courage to do so when sitin down I wanted to hug u but I don't even have the courage to do it...I miss the lovely hand tat fit perfectly in mine I miss those hug with love to keep each other warm I miss the kiss tat melt my heart but it's not gonna happen now...everytime I just didn't have the courage to do anything so I just slowed down my paces and walked behind looking you from the back...seeing u uncomfortable I want to lend u just my arm for you to rest but I could speak it through my mouh everytime I wanted to lend u my shoulder when u are tired or uncomfortable but when I wanted to say open my mouth no words came out from it I just so useless....

It's a new start a new life hope I could start over a new leaf but every single time I felt like giving up already but everyday when I am in the toliet I told myself not to give up but I really don't know how much longer I can hang on to it...I am just over sensitive maybe but who can take it tat my own baby is going to call my wife ex bf daddy how would anyone take it...I feel no pain like my heart is already broken to unbreakable piece....everyday its just a new begaining how to start my day with no fear but I couldn't face the fact tat u are no longer mine....everytime i tried to face tat u are no longer mine but it's unacceptable when u have already become my everyday life enter my heart a long time ago and everytime I remember the promise tat u would never leave me no matter wad happen but tat promise is long broken the times we spent together has just become memories tat is to stay in the mind and never gonna come back...the photo we take brings back unstopable tear but life is cruel reality is cruel the fact is cruel!!u are not mine already and I could only have a hope tat u will come back to me soon.....the life now is more cruel and more suffering then I am in Singapore boys home...when I was inside passing a day is like passing a month but now passing a day it's like passing a year life seems so hard for me right now but for the sake of everything I must hang on to it!!I rather lose everything but not losing u!!

Its been so long tat I last posted something on my blog sometimes I wonder what my blog it is to me but now I finally have my answer tat wads my blog to me it's my memories to my every relationship but I think this will be the last love I gonna have.....things has not be going well for me this while but I have always tried my best to do the best in everything but I always have failed sometimes I wonder what is a good bf is?everytime i tried to be the good bf care too much become over sensitive don't care is don't love her tat much at last time I really don't know what should I really do it's gonna be the first and last love I gonna have I am tired of everything getting hurt over and over again if love is such a painful things why I still want to love?maybe love is something that human can't live without ppl say love is painful but they still want to love and to be love but in the end it's just a game tat either be happy or hurt there were happy times that is unfogetable and now I have to live my life with those memories tat always bring tears flooding in my eyes..every sleepless night is all about thinking how to get you back to my life but it seems tat is not gonna help with thinking action proves everything time go passes a day like it has passes a year it's just one night and i loses my only hope in life but finally thx for all the concern from those who care about my feelings it helped me looked at the good point in life I gave all my hope and tried all my best and I have failed but successfully get back my feet why should I die and bring more saddness in ppl life I live to bring happiness and joy in this world not saddness...Ppl live their life with regret cause they didn't see the reality tat is unfair but life is always unfair!!Hope tat after I found a work will bring good to me...